My Baseball Masterpiece (Really!)
Top 100 Players. 100 baseball card-back facts. I might never top this dumb idea.
OK, you know how you’re never supposed to hype something beforehand?
Like: You never want to go up to people and say, “Oh, I’ve got a really funny joke.” Well, I’m about to break that rule.
I think the following list of the 100 greatest players for 2025 is the best thing I’ve ever done.
Now, let me be clear: I’m not talking about the list itself. It’s just a Top 100 prediction list of the best players in 2025, and it’s probably worse than most. You’ll disagree with half of it, at least. And I’m not exactly talking about the writing either. Or the research.
I’m talking about this: For every single one of the 100 greatest baseball players, I include an inane and utterly pointless one-line fact that you might have found on the back of an old-school baseball card. For some, I even included what the accompanying baseball card cartoon drawing would look like (I’m sure you’ll be able to envision the rest).
This is for all of you nerds like me who religiously collected baseball cards from, say, 1954 to about, oh, I don’t know when they stopped putting goofy facts on the back of baseball cards. Maybe they still do.
I believe it’s my masterpiece.
No. 100: Brenton Doyle, Colorado Rockies (No. 10 Center Fielder)
Fired a ball from centerfield at 105.7 mph, the fastest throw clocked by Statcast™ all year.
No. 99: Tyler Glasnow, Los Angeles Dodgers (No. 20 Starting Pitcher)
Tyler was the 2014 Florida State League pitcher of the year while hurling for the Bradenton Marauders.
No. 98: Teoscar Hernández, Los Angeles Dodgers (No. 9 Right Fielder)
Teoscar hit his first grand slam off the Angels’ Sam Selman on 8/11/21.
No. 97: Logan Gilbert, Seattle Mariners (No. 19 Starting Pitcher)
Logan was voted by his Mariners teammates as the least likely member of the team to be a good babysitter.
No. 96: Randy Arozarena, Seattle Mariners (No. 9 Left Fielder)
Hit 10 home runs during the 2020 postseason, a Major League record!
No. 95: Vinnie Pasquantino, Kansas City Royals (No. 7 First Baseman)
Vinnie played for Team Italy in the 2023 World Baseball Classic! (fact placed next to cartoon of a baseball player eating pasta in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa)
No. 94: Emmanuel Clase, Cleveland Guardians (No. 7 Relief Pitcher)
Emmanuel is nicknamed “La Kabra,” which means “The Goat.” And he doesn’t even have goats on his ranch in Rio San Juan.
No. 93: Bryan Reynolds, Pittsburgh Pirates (No. 8 Left Fielder)
Bryan belted a game-winning home run against Missouri while playing for Vanderbilt, 3/25/2016.
No. 92: Christian Yelich, Milwaukee Brewers (No. 8 Designated Hitter)
Christian appeared as himself in the television show Magnum P.I.
No. 91: Luis Robert Jr. Chicago White Sox (No. 8 Center Fielder)
Nicknamed La Pantera — The Panther — by teammate Yoan Moncada after he watched the movie “Black Panther.”
No. 90: Ian Happ, Chicago Cubs (No. 7 Left Fielder)
Ian was a member of the 2017 Topps All-Star Rookie team.
No. 89: Yoshinobu Yamamoto, Los Angeles Dodgers (No. 18 Starting Pitcher)
Yoshi threw a no-hitter against the Saitama Seibu Lions on 6/18/2022.
No. 88: Luis Arráez, San Diego Padres (No. 7 Designated Hitter)
Nicknamed La Regadera — the sprinkler — for the way he splashes hits all over the field.
No. 87: Edwin Díaz, New York Mets (No. 6 Relief Pitcher)
On 5/17/2022, Edwin and his brother Alexis became the third set of siblings to record a save on the same day.
No. 86: Anthony Santander, Toronto Blue Jays (No. 8 Right Fielder)
Anthony loves to play chess. (fact next to cartoon of a baseball player hovering over a chess board with the thought bubble: “This is how I learn to check my swing!”).
No. 85: Spencer Strider, Atlanta Braves (No. 17 Starting Pitcher)
Spencer threw out the first pitch at a Faye Webster show in Athens, Georgia.
No. 84: Jazz Chisholm Jr., New York Yankees (No. 7 Second Baseman)
Jazz’s full name is Jasardo Hermis Arrington Chisholm Jr.
No. 83: Willy Adames, San Francisco Giants (No. 10 Shortstop)
Willy hit for the Cycle on 4/23/2018 while playing for the Durham Bulls.
No. 82: Dylan Cease, San Diego Padres (No. 16 Starting Pitcher)
Wears No. 84 because of the 84 asanas in yoga (fact next to cartoon of ballplayer in full uniform performing Tadasana, the Mountain Pose).
No. 81: Brendan Donovan, St. Louis Cardinals (No. 6 Second Baseman)
Brendan was born in Würzburg, Germany!
No. 80: Royce Lewis, Minnesota Twins (No. 7 Third Baseman)
Royce was named the Midwestern League Prospect of the Year in 2018.
No. 79: Christian Walker, Houston Astros (No. 6 First Baseman)
Christian and his wife Amanda named their two cats Kit and Dottie after the sisters in “A League of Their Own.”
No. 78: Felix Bautista, Baltimore Orioles (No. 5 Relief Pitcher)
Felix’s favorite baseball restaurant is Chipotle.
No. 77: Gabriel Moreno, Arizona Diamondbacks (No. 7 catcher)
Had four hits in a game on 9/15/2023 against the Chicago Cubs.
No. 76: Marcell Ozuna, Atlanta Braves (No. 6 Designated Hitter)
Marcell’s cousin Pablo played in the major leagues from 2000-08 (fact next to cartoon of one baseball player telling another, “Hey cuz, see you in the big leagues someday!”).
No. 75: Matt McLain, Cincinnati Reds (No. 5 Second Baseman)
Matt’s mother Wendi was an All-American softball player at Orange Coast (fact next to Mom, swinging a bat, telling young son, “This is how you do it!”).
No. 74: Hunter Greene, Cincinnati Reds (No. 15 Starting Pitcher)
Hunter is a talented painter.
No. 73: Devin Williams, New York Yankees (No. 4 Relief Pitcher)
Devin participated in the 2019 Futures Game!
No. 72: Masyn Winn, St. Louis Cardinals (No. 9 Shortstop)
Masyn recorded his first hit on 8/18/2023. After Pete Alonso inadvertently tossed the ball into the stands, the fan returned it so Masyn could have it as a keepsake.
No. 71: Kyle Schwarber, Philadelphia Phillies (No. 5 Designated Hitter)
Kyle’s first major league hit was a triple off Cleveland’s Shawn Marcum, 6/17/2015.
No. 70: Ceddanne Rafaela, Boston Red Sox (No. 7 Center Fielder)
Ceddanne played in the 2012 Little League World Series for Curacao.
No. 69: Aaron Nola, Philadelphia Phillies (No. 14 Starting Pitcher)
Aaron is one of only two pitchers to make 32 starts in every full season since 2018.*
*Can you guess the other starter? I wouldn’t have gotten it if you gave me the J.B. initials. I’m not even sure I would have gotten it if you had told me the name rhymed Rosé with Shmerrios. Yeah. It’s Jose Berríos.
No. 68: Cade Smith, Cleveland Guardians (No. 3 Relief Pitcher)
Scouts say that Cade Smith throws an “invisible fastball” (fact next to cartoon of pitcher on the mound smiling while batter turns to shrugging umpire who says, “I didn’t see a thing”).
No. 67: J.T. Realmuto, Philadelphia Phillies (No. 6 Catcher)
J.T. is an excellent ping-pong player.
No. 66: Junior Caminero, Tampa Bay Rays (No. 6 Third Baseman)
Junior spent the winter of 2022-23 playing baseball in Perth, Australia! (fact next to cartoon of a baseball player sitting in the dugout next to a kangaroo).
No. 65: Riley Greene, Detroit Tigers (No. 6 Left Fielder)
Riley loves to fish — but not at the plate!
No. 64: Jung Hoo Lee, San Francisco Giants (No. 6 Center Fielder)
His father Lee Jong-beom was a baseball star in Korea known as “Son of the Wind.” He is known as “Grandson of the Wind.”
No. 63: Sonny Gray, St. Louis Cardinals (No. 13 Starting Pitcher)
Sonny is the active Major League leader in wild pitches.
No. 62: Carlos Correa, Minnesota Twins (No. 8 Shortstop)
Carlos learned English by writing movie reviews on the website “Rotten Tomatoes.”
No. 61: Jose Altuve, Houston Astros (No. 5 Left Fielder)
Jose hit for the cycle on 8/29/2023 at Boston.
No. 60: Ryan Helsley, St. Louis Cardinals (No. 2 Relief Pitcher)
Ryan threw a pitch of 103.1 mph on 5/1/2022 against Arizona.
No. 59: Brent Rooker, Sacramento Athletics (No. 4 Designated Hitter)
Brent won the C. Spire Ferriss Trophy in 2017 as the best collegiate player in Mississippi.
No. 58: Nico Hoerner, Chicago Cubs (No. 4 Second Baseman)
Nico graduated from Stanford with a degree in American Studies (fact next to cartoon of player in full uniform wearing an academic cap with tassel and holding a diploma).
No. 57: Max Fried, New York Yankees (No. 12 Starting Pitcher)
Max patterned his curveball after legendary lefty Sandy Koufax!
No. 56: Patrick Bailey, San Francisco Giants (No. 5 Catcher)
Hit his first big-league home run on 5/21/2023 against Miami’s Jesús Luzardo.
No. 55: Wyatt Langford, Texas Rangers (No. 4 Left Fielder)
Nicknamed “Evel Knievel” as a boy for his fearless, action-hero style of play (fact next to cartoon of a baseball player on a motorcycle chasing a fly ball. “I got it!” he shouts).
No. 54: Byron Buxton, Minnesota Twins (No. 5 Center Fielder)
Byron owns a coffee shop in his hometown of Baxley, Georgia.
No. 53: Blake Snell, Los Angeles Dodgers (No. 11 Starting Pitcher)
Blake owns more than 400 pairs of shoes (fact next to cartoon of baseball player opening a closet and hundreds of shoes falling out. “That’s shoe business!” he says).
No. 52: Mason Miller, Sacramento Athletics (No. 1 Relief Pitcher)
Made the First-Team American Baseball Coaches Association/Rawlings Mideast All-Region Team while at Waynesburg in 2019.
No. 51: Steven Kwan, Cleveland Guardians (No. 3 Left Fielder)
Steven is an avid journaler.
No. 50: Jacob deGrom, Texas Rangers (No. 10 Starting Pitcher)
Jacob’s first job was working at a fernery (fact next to cartoon of baseball player standing next to large fern. “You’ll want to avoid direct sunlight,” he is telling the fern).
No. 49: Andres Giménez, Toronto Blue Jays (No. 3 Second Baseman)
He hit his first Major League triple on 6/29/20 against Boston.
No. 48: Cody Bellinger, New York Yankees (No. 4 Center Fielder)
Cody was named National League Rookie of the Month in May 2017 and then again in June!
No. 47: Pete Alonso, New York Mets (No. 5 First Baseman)
Pete Alonso enjoys cooking, especially meats. (fact next to baseball player wearing an apron in front of a grill and holding a spatula. “Burgers are almost ready!” he is saying).
No. 46: Alex Bregman, Boston Red Sox (No. 5 Third Baseman)
Alex owns several thoroughbred racehorses.
No. 45: Corbin Burnes, Arizona Diamondbacks (No. 11 Starting Pitcher)
Corbin struck out 14 batters in a game against Cleveland on 9/11/2021.
No. 44: Michael Harris II, Atlanta Braves (No. 3 Center Fielder)
As a kid, Michael would pick flowers in the outfield during games. (Next to cartoon of kid baseball player smelling a flower. “Sometimes, you’ve just got to smell the roses!”).
No. 43: Will Smith, Los Angeles Dodgers (No. 4 Catcher)
Will hit two doubles and a home run in Washington on 7/27/2019
No. 42: Trea Turner, Philadelphia Phillies (No. 7 Shortstop)
Trea’s slide on 8/11/2021 was made into a bobblehead doll.
No. 41: Cal Raleigh, Seattle Mariners (No. 3 Catcher)
Teammate Jarred Kelenic nicknamed him “Big Dumper” after his large posterior.
No. 40: Garrett Crochet, Boston Red Sox (No. 8 Starting Pitcher)
Garrett studied nuclear engineering at the University of Tennessee (fact next to baseball player in a lab coat and goggles).
No. 39: Rafael Devers, Boston Red Sox (No. 3 Designated Hitter)
Nicknamed “Carita,” which means “Baby Face.”
No. 38: Manny Machado, San Diego Padres (No. 4 Third Baseman)
Manny wears different colognes on the field but he will stay with the same cologne when he’s hitting well!
No. 37: Matt Olson, Atlanta Braves (No. 4 First Baseman)
Matt was hit by a pitch for the first time by James Shields on 6/25/2017.
No. 36: Jarren Duran, Boston Red Sox (No. 2 Left Fielder)
Jarren participated in the 2019 Futures Game!
No. 35: Logan Webb, San Francisco Giants (No. 7 Starting Pitcher)
Brandon enjoys Cheez-It crackers. Logan enjoys Cheez-It crackers.
No. 34: Fernando Tatis Jr., San Diego Padres (No. 7 Right Fielder)
Wears pink every day because it’s his mother’s favorite color.
No. 33 Elly De La Cruz, Cincinnati Reds (No. 6 Shortstop)
Elly hit for the cycle on 6/23/2023.
No. 32: Matt Chapman, San Francisco Giants (No. 3 Third Baseman)
Served as a bat boy for the Cal State Fullerton Titans. (fact next to cartoon of boy carrying a bat to a player at the plate with the thought bubble “Someday, I’ll be the one hitting!”).
No. 31: Roki Sasaki, Los Angeles Dodgers (No. 6 Starting Pitcher)
Gave teammate Miguel Rojas three bottles of sake and drink glasses in exchange for his No. 11 jersey. (Roki wears No. 11 to honor his hero Yu Darvish!)
No. 30: Adley Rutschman, Baltimore Orioles (No. 2 Catcher)
Adley’s favorite movie is “The Shawshank Redemption.”
No. 29: Mike Trout, Los Angeles Angels (No. 6 Right Fielder)
Mike owns a weather balloon that tracks temperature, humidity and wind speed.
No. 28: Jackson Merrill, San Diego Padres (No. 2 Center Fielder)
Jackson had four singles on 4/7/.2024.
No. 27: Marcus Semien, Texas Rangers (No. 2 Second Baseman)
Marcus is a fan of the NBA Golden State Warriors.
No. 26: Austin Riley, Atlanta Braves (No. 2 Third Baseman)
Austin hit for the cycle on 10/26/2017 for the Peoria Javelinas in the Arizona Fall League.
No. 25: Ronald Acuna Jr., Atlanta Braves (No. 4 Right Fielder)
Ronald became the youngest player to hit a postseason grand slam on 10/7/2018.
No. 24: William Contreras, Milwaukee Brewers (No. 1 Catcher)
William’s brother Willson plays for the St. Louis Cardinals (next to cartoon of two brothers in baseball uniforms looking at a family album. “You were such a cute baby!” one says).
No. 23: Chris Sale, Atlanta Braves (No. 5 Starting Pitcher)
Chris was the Atlantic Sun Conference pitcher of the year in 2010!
No. 22: Freddie Freeman, Los Angeles Dodgers (No. 3 First Baseman)
Freddie enjoys doing crossword puzzles. (Cartoon of baseball player sitting with a newspaper and looking up at the sky. Thought bubble: “Hmm. What’s a three-letter word for ‘Baseball’s Mel.’”
No. 21: Cole Ragans, Kansas City Royals (No. 4 Starting Pitcher)
Was named the American League pitcher of the month in August 2023.
No. 20: Jackson Chourio, Milwaukee Brewers (No. 1 Left Fielder)
Was the 2022 Player of the Year in the Carolina League while playing for the Carolina Mudcats.
No. 19: Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Toronto Blue Jays (No. 2 First Baseman)
Vlad’s father, Vladimir Guerrero Sr., was a baseball player!
No. 18: Zack Wheeler, Philadelphia Phillies (No. 3 Starting Pitcher)
Zack recorded his first Major League strikeout on 6/18/2013 when he whiffed childhood friend Jason Heyward.
No. 17: Ketel Marte, Arizona Diamondbacks (No. 1 Second Baseman)
Ketel is a cousin of Vladimir Guerrero Jr., who is the son of former Major League baseball player Vladimir Guerrero Sr.
No. 16: Bryce Harper, Philadelphia Phillies (No. 1 First Baseman)
Bryce enjoys making lattes and believes he could be a successful barista.
No. 15: Corey Seager, Texas Rangers (No. 5 Shortstop)
Corey was named California League Player of the Year in 2014 when he played for the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes.
No. 14: Tarik Skubal, Detroit Tigers (No. 2 Starting Pitcher)
Tarik remodeled his own home in Arizona (fact next to cartoon of baseball player holding a hammer in his baseball glove saying, “OK, time for the drywall!”).
No. 13: Jose Ramirez, Cleveland Guardians (No. 1 Third Baseman)
José led the American League in sacrifice hits in 2014.
No. 12: Kyle Tucker, Chicago Cubs (No. 5 Right Fielder)
Kyle was the clubhouse DJ in Houston! (Fact next to cartoon of a smiling ballplayer with headphones on while musical notes play over his head. “Wait ‘til they hear these tunes!” he’s thinking).
No. 11: Julio Rodriguez, Seattle Mariners (No. 1 Center Fielder)
Julio is a big fan of anime, particularly Naruto, a young ninja with big dreams.
No. 10: Corbin Carroll, Arizona Diamondbacks (No. 3 Right Fielder)
Corbin attended Lakeside High School in Seattle, the alma mater of Microsoft founder Bill Gates and television Batman Adam West. (Fact next to cartoon of ballplayer in uniform standing next to Batman. “To the Batmobile,” the Batman says).
No. 9: Yordan Alvarez, Houston Astros (No. 2 Designated Hitter)
Yordan participated in the 2017 and 2018 Futures Games!
No. 8: Francisco Lindor, New York Mets (No. 4 Shortstop)
Francisco’s favorite Formula One driver is Lewis Hamilton.
No. 7: Gunnar Henderson, Baltimore Orioles (No. 3 Shortstop)
Gunnar enjoys trading jerseys with other players so he can hang them in his man cave at home.
No. 6: Paul Skenes, Pittsburgh Pirates (No. 1 Starting Pitcher)
Paul recorded his first Major League balk on 9/16/2024.
No. 5: Juan Soto, New York Mets (No. 2 Right Fielder)
Juan enjoys playing dominoes.
No. 4: Mookie Betts, Los Angeles Dodgers (No. 2 Shortstop)
Mookie has bowled five 300 games. (fact next to cartoon of baseball player in full uniform about to bowl and pins thinking “Oh no! It’s Mookie again!”).
No. 3: Aaron Judge, New York Yankees (No. 1 Right Fielder)
Hit his first big league home run on 08/13/2016 off Tampa Bay’s Matt Andriese.
No. 2: Bobby Witt Jr., Kansas City Royals (No. 1 Shortstop)
Bobby enjoys collecting baseball cards (fact next to cartoon of baseball player holding up a card and saying, “Hey, it’s me!”)
No. 1: Shohei Ohtani, Los Angeles Dodgers (No. 1 Designated Hitter)
Shohei is both a hitter and a pitcher, and he says his hobby is “sleeping.”
Great list, but I want to point out Witt's WAR has continued to drop the last 3 years.
I could definitely see Bryce Harper running a successful coffee shop once he retires.